Thursday, February 4, 2010

How do I apologise for a false accusation?

I was wandering past my husband's study this afternoon, and heard some ladies groaning. I suspected he was watching some German erotica and burst in to catch him in flagranti. Imagine my embarrassment when I realised he was watching the ladies' tennis at Wimbledon. (Though oddly he did seem to suddenly adjust his undergarments.) How might I make amends?How do I apologise for a false accusation?
How exactly is watching ladies tennis more respectable than German erotica? I would get in more trouble for Wimbledon.


Anyhow, here's how to make amends: wear a tennis outfit with a short short tennis skirt, commando style ;) Say to your man . ';Herr Rumpledshortzen, zis frauline has been verrry naughty. Vill you spaank me mit your tennis racket?';How do I apologise for a false accusation?
Never apologise my dear. As a member of the aristocracy it is just not done. I remember a few years ago my eldest son knocking my elderly, one legged housekeeper Mrs Barrymore down the stairs as he practised making his horse canter down the grand hallway. Not only did my dear husband Harold make her apologise for daring to get in his way, he docked her pay for being unable to work with her remaining leg broken. And she was grateful! These people must know their place.
I've had to do this before.


No matter how much it can hurt or make one feel guilty admitting a mistake is a lot easier than letting mistakes pile up. I still feel bad for the time I did it. I did nothing other than pass judgment before I had all the facts and it made me feel pathetic.


But I apologized for passing judgment and assured them it would never happen again.
What the 'Deuce' I fail to understand why he is watching the moving picture box, when he has a lady like yourself in the mansion? I suggest you don't apologise and go and talk to the Gardner about his backstroke and lob.
Instead, make him apologise whilst he is kneeling on all fours and a tennis ball wedged in his mouth. The aim is for him also to guess the grip size of your old splintered wooden Slazenger tennis racket. Just like this............................
Well those wimbledon ladies do make the most realistic sex noises! I think you can be forgiven my dear, do not fret over this small mistake, why don't you ';treat'; him to make up for it? nudge nudge, wink wink?
Make it up to him by watching women's mud wrestling or even better astroglide wrestling with him, and adjust his undergarments for him, repeatedly. I am pretty sure he will be very grateful and excuse your indiscretion.
Well you could start by dressing in a basque with stockings and high heel boots, a bottle or two of champers, some Beluga caviar, and ....er....its very hot in here or is it me ..harrumph er yes..er...well..er going for a cold shower.
Never apologise, never look back and always have a damp J cloth handy, especially when you are up against this sort of filth.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2e2xk1Je6鈥?/a>
I had a similar thing with the neighbours. Thought they were lamenting someone's death and wailing. Turns out they were listening to James Blunt.
If your husband is the same easy-going person who drank all the claret and then passed out on the couch at our New Years Eve party, I shouldn't think he'll need or even be looking for an apology.
Put on some high heels, stockings and suspenders and give him a nosh he will never forget! By the time you have finished he should be shouting ';New balls please';...
It was an understandable mistake, just apologize and get on with your life honey!
Dirty boy needs slapping.
I would say you are sorry for being suspicious and jealous.
Perhaps you could do some groaning yourself. Please excuse me whilst I go and powder my nose.
first of all so what if he was watching porn. it's not like he was bangin another woman. second of all why would you bust in and not just walk in if you were worried. it's more normal especially because you don't know he's watching porn. and why would you assume it's german erotica. you must be watching it yourself because you seem to know what it sounds like to a t and then you would have no reason to be busting someone else for it. you sound very jealous. um i think an apology would probably be funny no matter how you state it.
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